1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,800 Every time I dig you's eyes, I like coffee and tease your bag. 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,400 Though it makes no sense, it's true, there's no me without you. 3 00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:15,420 Till death is filmed in front of a live studio audience. 4 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,940 Eddie, come on, let's go! 5 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,520 Hey, where's your suitcase? 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,640 I've done it, Joey. I've achieved bagless travel. 7 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,080 What? 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,720 Well, you know how every time when we go visit my folks, I realize that all I 9 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,800 needed to pack was a T -shirt and swimsuit? Yeah. 10 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,280 Boom. 11 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,380 Boom! 12 00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:35,420 What about your toiletries? 13 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,420 Hair care in the right sock, dental care in the left. 14 00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:44,180 Well, you've finally found a way to put your athlete's foot in your mouth. 15 00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:47,060 Charming. Good, isn't it? 16 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,500 Better be kidding. 17 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,760 Hey, hey, hey! 18 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,400 You guys ready? I don't want to miss my fight debate. 19 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,080 Are you sure you want to spend Thanksgiving alone, Kenny? Come on, you 20 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:57,619 with us. 21 00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:00,240 Oh, yeah. Are you sure you want to go to Vegas, or would you rather spend the 22 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,580 holiday with my folks at the West Palm Senior Village and Pain Management 23 00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:05,580 Clinic? 24 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,720 Can you get my bag and get it in the closet? But bagless travel. 25 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,480 Yeah, use your legs with that one. It's mostly filled with liquor bottles. 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,060 I'm testing out these new noise -canceling headphones. 27 00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:26,710 Go ahead, ask me for the ninth time if I brought the camera. 28 00:01:28,410 --> 00:01:31,110 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to flight 738 to Miami. 29 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:35,330 This flight is slightly oversold. We're looking for just one volunteer to give 30 00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:38,810 up their seat and take a later flight, which leaves in an hour and a half. We 31 00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:43,230 are offering a $300 travel voucher to anywhere in the contiguous United 32 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,850 Don't even think about it. 33 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:52,690 But it's $300 to travel anywhere in the contiguous United States. 34 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:55,820 Where are you going to go? You never get off your contiguous ass. 35 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,120 What's the difference? I'll be an hour and a half behind. 36 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:11,320 Sweetie, I don't ask for much. We don't go to Paris. We don't take gondola rides 37 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,840 down Venice Canal. We don't even drive to Atlantic City anymore since they made 38 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:15,840 it a toll road. 39 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,440 This is the only vacation we're going to take all year, and I don't think it's 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,560 too much to expect. 41 00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:26,530 next to my husband and coach on the way to his parents' old age home. 42 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:31,570 In addition, our volunteer may spend the extra waiting time in our exclusive 43 00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:32,850 Admirals Club. 44 00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:37,090 The Admirals Club? I've never even seen the inside of an Admirals Club. 45 00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:40,230 What do you think you're going to see in there? Naked stewardesses making out 46 00:02:40,230 --> 00:02:41,230 with each other? 47 00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:46,130 First of all, they prefer flight attendants. 48 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:50,570 And they may be naked, but I highly doubt that they will be kissing. 49 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,700 Okay, look, blue sweatsuit's going in. I gotta make my move. 50 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,000 Eddie, I don't want to go alone. 51 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:00,820 I want to be with you. 52 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,100 I have an idea. Let's pretend we're married and fly on the same plane. 53 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,480 What's so great about flying with me anyway? What, do you think I become 54 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:12,000 magically interesting at 30 ,000 feet while some kid is punching me in the 55 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,320 of the head with his Buzz Lightyear? 56 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:18,240 Let me add that once in the Admiral's Club, you will receive a voucher for a 57 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,160 complimentary cocktail or snack pack of your choice. 58 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:30,650 Eddie. It's a whole pack of snacks. 59 00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:35,110 I'm sorry. It's a cocktail and... I'll take it. 60 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:42,410 Hello. How are you doing today? 61 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:43,910 Perfect. Where are you going? 62 00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:45,370 Sin City. 63 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:46,750 Good as goats. 64 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,170 City of lost species. 65 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,840 Unfortunately, your plane has been delayed due to mechanical problems. 66 00:03:58,060 --> 00:03:59,060 What kind of mechanical problems? 67 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:04,820 The kind that make the plane crash into a mountain at 800 miles per hour. 68 00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,760 That just got very real for you, didn't it? 69 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,300 Hello. I'm checking in. 70 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,839 Where are you flying today? 71 00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:18,500 City of Lost Wages. 72 00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:22,280 Lost Wages? Oh, because you lose all your money there. 73 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:32,230 gonna use that excuse me do you want to make a bad person to you well 74 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,830 i don't know if i love that shirt with the jacket but other than that you seem 75 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:42,650 okay this shirt is gross sorry your flight's a bit delayed but here you 76 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:48,270 are seat 2a let you know when your plane is repaired thank you hey looks like 77 00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:51,810 we're both stuck here for a while huh looks that way and i'm not the best 78 00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:54,620 The idea of mechanical problems has me thinking about a drink. 79 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:56,840 Could I buy you that drink? 80 00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:58,220 I'd like that. 81 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,500 Great. Thank God for small, unreliable discount airlines, huh? 82 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,560 I'll see you at the bar. 83 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:04,880 I'll see you at the bar. All right. 84 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:08,780 I'd like to change my seat to 2B. 85 00:05:09,260 --> 00:05:12,920 I believe that's an aisle seat, as in I'll be sitting next to the hot seat. 86 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,580 That's a first -class seat. 87 00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:20,740 And you are implying that I can't afford that? No. 88 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,910 That'll be $720. 89 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,370 Yeah, it will. 90 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,290 Put it on these three cards. 91 00:05:37,110 --> 00:05:43,050 Now, watch closely. The air goes out, and the flavor stays in. 92 00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:54,040 And we are vacuum packed. 93 00:05:55,500 --> 00:06:00,080 Fantastic. You think that's impressive. Those cheese cubes you're eating are 18 94 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,080 months old. 95 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,600 I feel so sick right now. 96 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,520 It's perfectly safe. 97 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,260 It's as fresh as the day we bought it. It's the beauty of vacuum packing. 98 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:20,160 And you should see the room we save on storage by vacuum packing our clothing. 99 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,750 Joy. Give me something of yours. I'll suck it down right now. 100 00:06:25,690 --> 00:06:29,710 Oh, yeah, two problems. Eddie's got my suitcase in. That sounds really weird. 101 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:33,170 Fair enough. But, oh, sweetheart, mark my words. 102 00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:36,470 Before you go, we will suck something of yours. 103 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,950 Ah, Mom. Oh, darling. 104 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:45,350 Give me that. Oh, look at her. Hey, hey. How are you? How are you? 105 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:50,210 Hi, honey. Hey, where's my bag? Oh, you're not going to believe this. 106 00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:55,010 Hysterical story. I left your bag unattended at the airport, and a robot 107 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,010 up pretty good. 108 00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:02,510 Scary, but cool. 109 00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,610 I can't believe this. What am I going to wear? 110 00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:11,070 Don't worry, Joy. I will unstuck one of my house coats for you. I think it'll 111 00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:12,070 fit over your bosoms. 112 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,930 So, Ma, what's on tap for the weekend? 113 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:19,030 Oh, I've got a beautiful brisket for tomorrow night's dinner. 114 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,560 And, Sandy, we're going to run some errands. Oh, yes, we've got to go return 115 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,300 library books, and then I need to buy a new sponge. 116 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,440 Yes. And then we've got to stop by the lawyer. 117 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,840 Lawyer? Why are you going to a lawyer? 118 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,820 Oh, you have to sign the final divorce papers. 119 00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:34,660 Divorce papers? 120 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:35,860 Yeah, we're getting a divorce. 121 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:39,480 Did you tell him? 122 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:44,320 No, you were supposed to call him. Since when do I call him, huh? You call him. 123 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:45,980 I holler, hi, in the background. 124 00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:49,500 Why are my parents getting a divorce? 125 00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:52,040 Oh, look at him. He's so worried. 126 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:57,700 Honey, we're not really breaking up. In order to qualify for certain medical 127 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,500 insurance, you have to be bankrupt. 128 00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:02,700 So if one of us gets sick, they're going to bleed us dry. 129 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,960 But if you're divorced, half your nut is protected. 130 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,040 It's called a Medicaid divorce. 131 00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:10,420 They're all the rage. 132 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,100 So let me get this straight. 133 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,900 I've got nothing to wear all weekend? 134 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:19,210 This is insane. 135 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:24,410 Oh, tell that to Ms. Leslie Stahl of 60 Minutes. That's where we got the idea. 136 00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:27,830 Okay, again with the 60 Minutes. Remember last time how they got you all 137 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:29,650 up and you tried to get your mechanic arrested? 138 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,770 They're supposed to give you the old parts. 139 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:33,570 It's the law. 140 00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:37,350 I can't believe we're from the same hometown. 141 00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,169 Oh, and I can't believe your aunt was my kindergarten teacher. 142 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:42,370 She was mean. 143 00:08:43,309 --> 00:08:44,009 Telling me. 144 00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,070 Oh, and big. 145 00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:46,430 Oh, big indeed. 146 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:49,590 She taught the food pyramid but did not live it. 147 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:51,570 What can I get for you? 148 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,130 I'll have a beer. 149 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:54,210 And for your wife. 150 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,370 Honey? 151 00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,750 I'll have what my husband's having. 152 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,310 If they're right, you will. 153 00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:04,690 Because you're my woman. 154 00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:06,470 Did I go too far with that? 155 00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,530 No. I kind of liked it. 156 00:09:08,770 --> 00:09:09,770 Damn right you did. 157 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:10,830 Damn right. 158 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:13,930 Ever 159 00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:25,570 made 160 00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:26,570 it with Cookie Monster? 161 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,910 I just can't stop thinking about my parents. 162 00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:38,870 Come on. They explained the whole thing. 163 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,430 Why are you so bummed out about this? 164 00:09:41,070 --> 00:09:45,450 It's just that I have this image of my family being blown apart. 165 00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:48,170 I mean, don't you think what they're doing is a little weird? 166 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:51,110 Yeah, it's weird. Of course it's weird. You're weird people. 167 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:56,390 Hey, it's that weirdness that got us out of the old country, into the circus, 168 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:57,770 and all the way to Ellis Island. 169 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,770 You know what I mean. Your family's nuts. 170 00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:03,010 You're the same way. 171 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:07,130 This whole divorce thing is exactly the same as you abandoning me at the 172 00:10:07,130 --> 00:10:11,190 airport. Oh, that is not true. That is totally different, Joy. No, it's not. 173 00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:15,010 sensible choice wins out over romance every time with you people. 174 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:19,030 Normally, you're the one dishing it out, and you can't take it now because 175 00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:20,030 you're a little orphanetti. 176 00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:25,490 You know, I thought I'd get a little more support from you. I am a child of 177 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:26,490 divorce. 178 00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:31,270 But I guess if you're not from a broken home, you just don't get it. 179 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,260 talking about? My parents are divorced too, remember? 180 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,140 Oh, come on. You were nine. 181 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,000 At that age, that stuff just rolls right off you. 182 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:45,880 My dad moved to Virginia with a woman who sold us a Toyota. 183 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,080 Oh, all I'm hearing is double Christmas, double presents, boo! 184 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,540 It's so nice to sit next to somebody and not have to talk. 185 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,960 Yeah. 186 00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:10,340 I know. 187 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,540 I just like to chew on the ice. 188 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,860 Look at those adorable kids. 189 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,440 Cute. 190 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:24,740 They are. 191 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,840 I don't know if I want to have kids, though. 192 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:28,580 Why not? 193 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,020 I don't know. 194 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,500 I guess you could call me selfish. 195 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:35,380 See, I just don't have that same kind of maternal pull that most women have. 196 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:37,740 Don't you think this is something that we should talk about? 197 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,520 This isn't just your decision, is it? 198 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,740 I just think the society puts way too much pressure on people to have kids. 199 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,600 What are you looking at? 200 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,700 What? I saw you checking out that woman. 201 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,840 She's a flight attendant. She's heading towards the gate. 202 00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:55,680 I was looking to see if our flight was boarding. 203 00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:59,180 Well, I don't think the answer to whether our flight is boarding is on 204 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:00,180 of her body. 205 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,280 You know what? 206 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:04,420 Uh -uh. I can't do this. 207 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,600 What? Do nothing while I run around Terminal B getting you treats? 208 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,180 I believe I wasted the last seven hours of my life with you. 209 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,580 So I guess this is it? I guess it is. 210 00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,020 Pace? So long. 211 00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:20,100 Now boarding flight 252 to Las Vegas. 212 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,740 First class passengers only. 213 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,360 This is awkward. 214 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,640 for another hour. 215 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,500 Yeah, I know. I can't sleep. 216 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,980 I'm having trouble... What? 217 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,860 What the hell is that? It's okay. It's okay. 218 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,380 Sweetheart, don't be afraid. It's just your father. 219 00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,900 Jeez. How do you sleep with that? 220 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,420 I don't. I haven't slept in 48 years. 221 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,240 What is bothering you? 222 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,280 I don't want you and Dad... 223 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,580 This was less of you. 224 00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:54,160 You know what? I just don't understand what's happening. 225 00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:57,120 Is it my fault? 226 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,700 No, of course not. 227 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,580 It's because I didn't become a dentist. 228 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,840 It's because I have such big fingers. I couldn't imagine. I know, sweetie. 229 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,900 Very enormous. It wouldn't have worked. Yeah. 230 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:14,060 No, no. This has nothing to do with you. Your father and I love each other very 231 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,180 much. And we always have. 232 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,620 And we always will. 233 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,760 But when it comes right down to it, marriage, just a piece of paper. 234 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,260 Well, how can you say that? You're the one who always taught me that marriage 235 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:30,400 sacred. Oh, come on. You know what it is to raise a child. You make stuff up. 236 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,460 Listen, I know that you and Dad still love each other, but if you take the 237 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:45,380 you made and you throw them into the trash can, what's going to keep you 238 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:50,230 Drifting apart, you know, sometimes you need the institution, especially the 239 00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:55,850 men. Oh, honey, your father's not going to cheat on me after all these years. 240 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:59,050 Yeah, but technically, if you're not married, it's not cheating. 241 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:04,610 I mean, when a girl comes on to a guy, the phrase is, I can't, I'm married. 242 00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:08,230 not, I can't, I used to be married, but I'm technically divorced because of the 243 00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,190 astronomical health care premiums. 244 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:16,250 Edward. You don't really think your father would do something like that. 245 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:21,490 Look, I know Dad is a nice guy, okay, but I've seen the pool you hang out at, 246 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:23,090 and it's a meat market out there. 247 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:32,870 Smells great in here, Mom. 248 00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:47,970 Oh, 249 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:53,350 my God, just stop it. Why would you even put that on? How come you just didn't 250 00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:54,370 wear what you wore on the plane? 251 00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:58,730 I was. Then I spilled coffee all over myself when I saw your dad bend over for 252 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,190 the morning paper in nothing but a T -shirt. 253 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:03,510 Probably forgot we were here. 254 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,970 Yeah, did he forget that he lives in the world? 255 00:16:09,230 --> 00:16:10,230 Hi, kids. 256 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:11,310 Hey, Ma. 257 00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:15,210 Where's Dad? That's a good question. He's usually back from senior Tai Chi by 258 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,210 now. 259 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,400 Senior Tai Chi. 260 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,580 Meat market. 261 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,480 Hey, everybody. 262 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:26,820 Joy, you should have stuck around. Everybody kept asking where my hoxie 263 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,820 daughter -in -law went. 264 00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:31,260 Yeah, I had to get out of there. Your friend Myron, he was getting a little 265 00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:32,340 creepy with the camera phone. 266 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,520 You've been gone a long time. We're nearly ready to eat. 267 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:39,960 Actually, I went back to Max and got into this big argument about politics. 268 00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:44,930 Myron said that President McKinley should be on Mount Rushmore. Then all 269 00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:45,930 broke loose. 270 00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,530 Who else was there? 271 00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:51,170 Oh, Myron, Max, Clarence, Sol, the whole basketball team. 272 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,130 What about that Agnes? Agnes? 273 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,810 I guess she was there, too. 274 00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:57,230 How come you didn't mention her? 275 00:16:57,510 --> 00:16:58,510 I just did. 276 00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:02,150 Nice outfit there, Al. You haven't worn that in years. 277 00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,450 I wanted to look dapper for the kids. 278 00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:06,010 Interesting. 279 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,930 You sure you didn't want to look dapper for that Agnes? 280 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,839 Who is that Agnes? 281 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,379 Yes, Father. 282 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:15,240 Who is that Agnes for whom you wear your finest velour? 283 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:19,500 She's just a neighbor. 284 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,339 Who likes to flirt with your father. 285 00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:25,099 She's always laughing a little too hard at his old jokes. 286 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,420 Oh, excuse me for being funny. That's how I got you in a sack. 287 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:34,660 Al, what's going on between you two? Oh, there's nothing going on. 288 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,700 Is this why you wanted the divorce? Is it? So you could be free? Free for that 289 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:42,960 Agnes? What the hell's got into you? Oh, please. The phrase is, I can't, I'm 290 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:47,280 married. Not, I can't, I'm divorced to save on health care because I'm a cheap 291 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,280 bastard. 292 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,500 Oh. 293 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,360 So maybe you don't want the divorce. Is that what you're saying? 294 00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:53,660 Perhaps. Oh. 295 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,040 Because you're feeling so terrible. Maybe we should stay married. 296 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,300 Maybe we should. 297 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,560 Fine. 298 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,320 Okay. That's the way you feel? The divorce is off. 299 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,320 We're going to stay married the rest of our lives. Fine. 300 00:18:06,990 --> 00:18:08,690 Where are you getting all this crap from, anyway? 301 00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:12,750 Eddie. Eddie said some very interesting things to me in bed last night. 302 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:17,910 You were in my bed last night? You were in their bed last night? 303 00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:22,170 You're all making a beautiful thing dirty. 304 00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:27,890 We're on our way to a perfectly happy divorce, and it's none of his business. 305 00:18:27,950 --> 00:18:29,490 Hey, it is my business. 306 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,010 This isn't just about you, Dad. 307 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:33,970 Think about the children. 308 00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,930 No one thinks about the children. 309 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:41,020 I'll grow up. No, no, you grow up. We're talking about your marriage here, Dad. 310 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:43,780 What the hell do you know about marriage? You came here without your 311 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:44,840 because of a lousy coupon. 312 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:46,219 Thank you. 313 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,340 You know, that's just as bad as what they're doing. 314 00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,000 Oh, so now you're coming at me big red. 315 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:51,940 Yeah, I'm coming at you. 316 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:57,580 You lost my bag. It's 95 degrees, 100 % humidity. I'm sure Peter Frampton is 317 00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,780 somewhere looking for his hair. 318 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,420 And I'm wearing the national flag of ugly. 319 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,900 Excuse me, Joy, I wore that to the Coconut Grove Playhouse last week, and I 320 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,380 a lot of positive feedback. 321 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,320 Be quiet, everybody. 322 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:21,720 Eddie, listen to me. This divorce that your mother and I are getting doesn't 323 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,120 matter. And you want to know why? 324 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,460 Because marriage, that little piece of paper, doesn't mean a thing. 325 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,080 Marriage is sharing a life together. 326 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,220 Marriage is flying on the same plane together. 327 00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:39,060 Marriage is sleeping in the same room even though the other person snores like 328 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:42,900 jackhammer. And we were going to tear up our piece of paper, but we were never 329 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,120 going to give any of that up. 330 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:52,060 We're getting a divorce because I love my wife and I want to make sure that 331 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:56,120 she's taken care of in case something happens to me. 332 00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:02,420 And I want you to be taken care of. 333 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,920 If something happens to me. 334 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,980 So, uh... You still want to get divorced? 335 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:13,920 I do. 336 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:20,980 Look at those two crazy kids getting a divorce. 337 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,660 It's a beautiful thing. 338 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,530 There was a seat in between us, but I had it switched so we could be right 339 00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:35,530 to each other. 340 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,310 Oh, great. 341 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,370 So your elbow will be digging right into my boob. 342 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,469 That's right. 343 00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:43,890 So I could be close to my beloved. 344 00:20:45,770 --> 00:20:47,590 It's a two and a half hour flight, Joy Joy. 345 00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:50,370 And I'm going to savor every minute of it. 346 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:51,910 We're going to talk. 347 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:56,450 I'm going to find out five things about you that I never knew before. And you, 348 00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,650 you're going to find out things about me. 349 00:20:59,110 --> 00:21:00,110 What is he like better? 350 00:21:00,929 --> 00:21:02,070 Tangerines or nectarines? 351 00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:05,670 You don't know, do you? Well, you're going to know at the end of this flight. 352 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:08,510 Attention in the gate area. 353 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:11,470 Flight 987 to Philadelphia is oversold. 354 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,210 We need just one volunteer. 355 00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:21,490 You're not thinking about that, are you? No, no. 356 00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,030 No.